Saturday, August 4, 2012

Should I have said something?

It's no secret (at least, to me) that since my parents' divorce, there has been a moderate strain on things between myself and my dad's side of the family.

Cliff-notes version? Due to my dad's brain injury from a couple years back, the divorce got complicated, and his family stepped in to help him out. In theory, this was nice of them. In reality, it looked more like an opportunity for otherwise absent family members to get in our business. I didn't love the knowledge that all 6 of my aunts an uncles (and I'm sure their respective spouses) could have been privy to personal and financial information. It's none of their business.

Anywho, the divorce was not smooth sailing. It went on for too long, and was constantly made more complicated by my relatives and the lawyers. Even after my mom and dad reached a pretty good amicable point in their new non-relationship.

Little tip? If you are even a little bit amicable during a divorce process, just come up with an agreement, and take said agreement to family court. Lawyers? Rob you. And make things messy while they rob you. I mean, this is their livelihood here. Why would they seek a quick resolution?

So anyway, since then, I have felt a little awkward around my aunts and uncles on that side of the family. It was never said to my face, but my dad told me something my aunts said to him that implied that I had chosen a side. I don't like the idea that they are putting ideas in his head-- even if they were only meant as "what if's". It's not their place to be what if-ing his children, and in doing so, putting thoughts in his head that wouldn't otherwise have been there. Basically, this whole shebang has left me somewhat bitter towards them. I have only seen one or two of them since the whole thing ended.

Short story long, one of my older cousins is getting married today, as I mentioned in yesterday's letter post. There was some confusion as to who was invited and who wasn't. My cousin claims I'm being ridiculous in assuming I wasn't invited, and he claims his parents feel the same way. That of course you're invited. Says the guy who has no shame showing up to places uninvited.

I, on the other hand, have an extra large fear of imposing. On the save the date that my dad got it said only his name. Nothing came to my house. So, naturally, I would assume I wasn't invited. So I didn't make plans to go. Not a big deal. No hard feelings. I barely know her, she lives across the country, and she doesn't have a full-time job, as far as I know. It seems pretty ordinary to hand pick the aunts/uncles vs all of the cousins. I have 21 cousins. That is a lot of food to pay for. On top of other wedding expenses.

To be honest, even if I had received an invite, I more than likely would have taken the baby route and not gone anyway, because I wouldn't have wanted to deal with my dad's family for an entire weekend.

But now that the day is here, on the off-chance that mine and my brother's presence was implied with the save the date, I kind of feel bad for both not going, but not even saying anything to her.

But it seemed kind of sensitive, right? I don't want to talk to her about it if she didn't invite us, and have her feel uncomfortably obligated to after speaking to me... Does this make sense?

Should I have spoken up?

I'm fairly certain it was invite-only. So I'm not too concerned. But on the off chance that it wasn't? I kind of feel bad for not saying a word either way.

Who knows. I guess it's too late now, right? I do hope everyone there is having fun, and I hope my cousin has a great day for her wedding. I'll be at the restaurant working a golf tournament, which means lots of drunk golfers. If I remember correctly, a couple of them get a little grabby with every drink. Yay. Hope the tips are worth the feel-ups! Haha, just kidding... the tips are usually worth it. Ha. Jk. :p

One more grueling day of work at the sweat box, and then tomorrow is a pool party with my mom's side of the family! ... Is it wrong that I think a pool party will be more fun than a wedding? Oopsy. Lover of the swimmin', here ;)

Have a great weekend everyone!