Dear work week, I'm so glad you are almost over. Today alone was enough to make me want to rip my hair out, and that is just on top of the ridiculousness that has been climbing out from under rocks lately. Anyone who thinks corporations = more professionalism? Turn the car around and stay where you are comfortable, because I am learning the hard (in the annoying sense) way that professionalism is in high demand and short supply nowadays. Looking for better working conditions and professional atmospheres? It's not here. It's the "Me! Me! Me!" generation, and as a twenty-three year old trying to pave her way in life, welp-- it's pretty darn disappointing watching most everyone look out for number one. You may be number one to yourself, but, spoiler alert, you're not the only one.
Dear Anthony, I'm looking forward to making your lunch today. You don't know this yet, but I'm craftily saving your life and your taste buds by throwing ambition to the wind and settling for something easy-peasy like tacos. Yep. I'll make the ground beef, but the rest of the toppings, I'm leaving to Stop & Shop. You're welcome. And trust me, you'll be thanking me later when you aren't writhing in gastro-intestinal pain or revisiting said lunch because the undomestic deity that is yours truly made a "whoopsy" during the cooking process. Fingers crossed! Hopefully, whatever happens, the dessert will make up for it. A little Italian surprise that (hopefully) you'll never guess. :)
Dear Olivia & Lauren, while you may be eight years my junior, you are two of the best little buds I've had. You're truly the younger sisters I never had, and Olivia especially, in the year and a half that Anthony and I have been together, you really do feel like my sister. In a generation that is increasingly wise beyond its years (& not in the good way), you are like shiny little diamonds in the rough. In the words of whoever said it in The Outsiders, "stay golden, Ponyboy."
might we all make a note that the dark blob at the top left of my head is in fact Anthony's brother behind me, and not a Princess Leia bun nor a strange attempt to add volume to my hair. ;p
Dear sweet baby Jesus, thank you for finally bestowing a desire to improve upon Apple beyond making the iPhone a quarter of an inch taller! For they are finally releasing a software update and new operating system that actually looks different from the last three! And I mean more than just changing the color of the bar at the top of the screen that displays the time and battery life! So yeah, needless to say, I've got a bit of a hard on for the the upcoming iOS 7 to be released much much too far away in early fall. Ew. But hey, better super freaking late than never, right, Apple? ;)
Dear DVR, way to not record the premiere of Pretty Little Liars on Tuesday.
We're fighting.
xoxo,
Sam
Head on over to Ashley's blog to link up with your Friday letters! Happy weekend, loves!
Dear March, Where did you come from?? It feels like it was just February 1st! But, as long as you're sticking around, I was wondering, can you come in like a lamb and go out like one? While I was on the deck this afternoon, I had a weird "flashback" type moment like any given character on LOST (sound effects and all) when I saw patch of grass finally peeking through the melting snow. Okay, so it wasn't a flashback... more of an "oh my gosh, I just remembered what it felt like to be warm!" and the smells of spring and summer came flooding in.... Enough of the description. It's making me sad. My point is, I had a feeling that spring will be closer than we think.... don't make a fool of me, March.
Dear English Teacher,
So um... about that homework I submitted last night... I'm sorry if, in an attempt to put a lot of thought into the poem called "My Papa's Waltz", I over-thought and took from it that "Papa" had a drinking problem, and his "waltz" was another word for "abusive tendencies". Turns out it was actually about a kid dancing with his father. Whoopsy. In my defense, I was on a lunch break at work, and was far more focused on my oatmeal and Facebook than I was the book of poems. But anyway, sorry "Papa" for accusing you of being an abusive alcoholic. My bad. Drink your whisky without further judgment from the peanut gallery over here.
Hey... I hate poetry... what can I say?
Dear Coworker,
I realize I'm still newish, but I must say, while sometimes I like you, most of the time I just stand there and silently analyze your very obvious self-esteem problem while you babble on and over-share thinking you are impressing me with who you're currently hanging out with. I am new. Don't you see? You all look the same to me.
Dear Fellow Bloggers,
Question for you... speaking of work... I have been invited to a couple little things lately by my new coworkers. While I want to be social with them, and I'm not looking not to be friends... I did that whole thing with my last job, and well, it got to a point where I wished I had been a little more removed from the place during my four years there. Anyway, there is a little shindig happening on Sunday, and I don't feel like going. I'm going to make a sincere effort to be the person I wished I had been at the CB: the one who comes to work, does their work, has fun with coworkers while at work, but then returns home to her real life when the day is done. So here is my question: should I straight up say I don't want to go? Or should I make something up, like I have too much homework? I do have quite a bit, but, I also don't want that to sound like a go-to excuse. While I like the people there a lot, I am just not really looking for a social outlet outside of work, at the moment. Know what I mean? Not to mention there seems to be a boatload of drama involved with the people here too... so do not miss that aspect of my last job.
Happy Friday!
By the way, I am one follower away from the big 1-0-0! If I get there before Monday, I will include the Mark-Out Monday coffee giveaway in a bigger giveaway to celebrate, woohoo!
I thought I would be so kind as to impart some of my coveted wisdom onto thee.
Some small tokens of knowledge I have learned so far in this here twenty-thirteen.
one. Contrary to popular belief (aka mine) purchasing a Mac does not make you a better blogger or writer. Which is a disappointing realization. Apple computers look like they open up this whole new realm of creativity and possibilities. False. Its sexy little keyboard and the satisfying click of every keystroke may make you want to write or blog more... but as for the content of what you're writing? Same as before. I want my money back.
two. Shouting profanities at the top of your lungs while inhaling a bagel does not actually work to make the slow, fart, idiot, jerk, ass****, snail car in front of you move any faster than their mediocre barely-obeying-the-speed-limit, killing-my-downhill-neutral-coasting excuse for a crawl.
three. Making an attempt at self-control while doing homework, and going so far as to not even turn the TV on in the first place doesn't actually help you get more work done. As, you see, the internet is still readily available. In fact, I'm putting off homework as I type this very post!
four. Watching the Oprah Winfrey Network religiously like it's your job every morning doesn't actually teach you how to be like Oprah. In fact it just makes you angry that you can't be more like her. Even if you don't necessarily like her in the first place. (Guilty.) Which makes you like her even less.
five. It may be 2013. The age of computers, and iPhones, and tablets where you can activate your home security system from work, or school, or heck, a public bathroom, if that's what you're into. And yet, despite these mind-blowing, constant forward-moving advancements in technology, not a one person has managed to come up with a way to make these little bastards roll straight.
Dear Art History book, please miraculously become more interesting so that I will suddenly have the overwhelming desire to read chapter 17 instead of putzing around the internet and bouncing from blog to blog like my friend to the left as though the day is mine and I don't have a shitload of homework to do.
Dear Starbucks, while you have your own set of challenges, I'm finally starting to feel pretty darn good working there. (Most of) the people are cool, the customers are pretty nice, and it's really fun to make the drinks. Not to mention, I love being able to draw all over the cups in downtime. I like to pretend someone, somewhere finds a smile if they notice their cup has a random doodle on it. This job has also made me even more of a people pleaser. Meaning, while working at my last job, sure, I liked making people's days better if that happened. But now I wonder after most customers if their day was impacted at all by our interaction. I know it probably wasn't, and that I don't carry that much weight (unless we are talking about my ass), but it's still cool to be a part of people's days in what seems like a quicker, yet more personal oxymoron of a moment when they stop in for their drink. Their mission statement is "to inspire and nurture the human spirit", which I find in working there becomes a mentality over time. And I kind of like that.
Dear Macbook Pro, thank you for finally being mine. Not only can I finally sit down and write a Friday's letters post again (yay!), but I also feel significantly cooler and more socially accepted sitting in the corner of Starbucks with a cute little glowing apple on the back of my computer vs. the social outcast feeling that burned within from lugging around my giant eyesore of a Dell. I assume the backlit keyboard would be quite useful as well. Which I would know if I wasn't 87 years old and started to doze off the second my ass is in bed at night. I don't even know why I bother bringing the computer over there. It never lasts more than a couple minutes. But trust me. It's not you, it's me.
Phew. That feels good. Too bad it's 10x easier writing this on my blog than it will be meandering down to your office one day and giving you the news.
You will probably ask why. At this point I'll get all nervous and flustered and be scared to tell you my actual reasoning. I will most likely come up with some BS excuse about how school is getting in the way (lies), there aren't enough hours (not true), and while I would like to stay (oh man the lies), it just isn't a good time for me to be working (or something.)
When really, what I'll be dying to say is, your business sucks. The drama is insane. In fact, most mental institutions probably have a higher sanity rate than the miscreants you staff your restaurant with. One time, you walked back from the bar to go down to your office saying, "if you see someone at the bar who is looking around acting confused--", if you remember correctly, I jokingly interjected "hire them?" Ha. Not a joke.
You could care less about your business. Before when people would do favors, pull extra shifts, pick up slack... you would be thankful. Actually thankful. And now? Now it has gotten to the point where people are only as good as the next favor they can do for you. Nothing is ever enough anymore. I could probably work eight shifts one week, and you'll be sitting there wondering why I didn't work nine. I'll tell you why. Because I have worked for $6/hour since I started in March 2009. Sure, I know we make tips and all that jazz (though, technically, you need real business to actually make any tips), but I made tips at my first job too, and that hourly increased with minimum wage. And believe you me, when I was assigned more responsibility, I was also assigned more money to spend at Starbucks. See how that works?
I have gone above and beyond for you on numerous occasions. Over the last three and a half years, I have done more work outside my job description than you obviously care to remember, because even the times I jokingly hint at the idea of a possible one dollar raise, you come back with "well in some places, people only make $5/hour." Um, name that place, please, and I'll handpick my replacement from the collection of folks who are working for $5 and looking for a pay increase. I'm not asking for much, boss. I'm just asking that you at least recognize that you're paying your personal slave bitch bar wench the same amount your are paying your "I do the bare minimum" waitress. Fair? The jury's still out on that one.
Enough is enough. If you don't care about your business, why the hell should I? There is a principle you seem to be missing. If you don't want to work that night, or you don't want to make the schedule, or maybe you don't want to reprimand a waitress or give them negative feedback... Here's what you don't do. You don't ask me to do it. Why should I look like the jerk on your behalf? I am given management responsibilities without the management pay. Here's the harsh reality ratio -- business owner : business = Jesus : Earth. I'm sorry, you don't really get days off when you own a business. If you are open 7 days a week, then you may have to work 7 days a week. If something is wrong, it's your responsibility to fix it. After all, you are the one cashing in, are you not? Again, if you don't care about your own business, why should I bend over backwards for it? God forbid any of us ever approach you about your lax scheduling and hiring ritual, you make us feel like we are wrong for not being able to cover every single shift that opens up because you can't hang onto employees.
You are a fun person. Funny too. I liked hanging out with you and your family those times. Thank you for the occasional drinks you'd buy me. They were nice, and a fun social outlet. But it is to the point where I don't even want to be around you. I used to chat in your office. Now I can barely muster a "hey" when I get there in the morning.
The environment is toxic. The amount of people I know who have been shipped off to rehab in the time that I have worked there? More than I would care to admit. My sense of humor and overall demeanor have taken a tone of "mean" that I believe wouldn't otherwise be there. I was never sugary sweet, granted, but there are definitely a few things I would never be caught saying, had I not joined the ranks of the low lives of this particular restaurant.
I have had enough. My life has changed because of this place. Gradually, of course. But as I said, I am definitely a different person than I think I would have been if it hadn't been for this job. Granted, it brought me out of my shell a lot, which I am thankful for. But the rest? The mean jokes I make? The contagious gossip that everyone always ends up involved in whether they want to or not? I'm done with it. I'm ready to make changes. To really start fresh. I was going to wait until January, but now seems like the perfect time. If I have to work Christmas Eve, so be it.
Don't worry, I'll translate below just in case my chicken scratch is illegible. :)
Dear Fellow Drivers, When did you become so utterly bad at this? Pulling into traffic without looking, driving too slow, going over the yellow line... my driving experience lately has been a giant clusterf*** of rage. Seeing red here... and no, I don't mean the foliage!
Dear work, Things have been pretty crappy lately. I am so not looking forward to working a double today. Oh, Starbucks, please hire me!
Dear Classmates You are going to be solely responsible when I end up on intervention to wrangle the Tylenol addiction I will have no doubt developed by the end of this semester. To be honest, the addiction is preferable to dealing with your annoying, unfunny comments, the incessant chatter, and the attitude that screams "I somehow managed to snag a diploma earlier this year." AKA, please grow up ;).
Dear Readers, Love you all-- you are quite the supportive bunch! Not only do I want all you lovely ladies to go link up with Ashley for Friday Letters, but I also encourage you to check out one of my newer blog friends Michelle @ MichMash. I recently started reading her blog and was hooked instantly! Check it out! Happy Friday!
Dear Readers,
My $10 Starbucks giveaway ends on Sunday... have you entered? I'm content with the entries thus far, but I mean, if you want them to walk off with a gift card that could be yours... Ha. Just kidding. I wish I could give everyone a gift card. Some day, when the lottery is won. :) Oh, and also, if you wish/please, pop on over to yesterday's post and give me your two cents on the possible linkup/challenge. Thanks bunches, happy Friday!
Dear Work, Please please please(!!!) be a quick day. I'm a slave to you all weekend, and I'm hoping to make today as short of a double shift as humanly possible because, well, I hate working here. I just need the right nudge to give me the guts to go out and start all over somewhere new. Bye bye, seniority. Wah. Why does work have to suck?
Dear Money,
I've looked and looked, but you have yet to take up residence in my wallet. Where are you? I'm starting to get worried. Dear Neighbor,
Next time you wander over to my house demanding that I "fix" your forehead that ended up needing stitches, please don't use the phrase, "aren't you a nurse? What are they training you for?" because you, essentially, chose this injury (more on this later). No I'm not a nurse (yet). So don't act all appalled and as though I will suck at it when I (hopefully) am one just because you were trying to avoid a hospital bill. Here's a thought: don't drink, as it is the very thing that lands you with these injuries. ;)
Oh how I long for the lazy days of summer where the biggest challenges of my day were:
a. when to take my free drink coupon to Starbucks and get my standard, sweetened iced coffee.
b. when to endure the task of taking my insane dog outside to "go to the bathroom." Aka, drive me apeshit while she runs in circles and treats the leash --and thus, my arm(s)-- like a tug-of-war rope.
c. whether or not to take the Bentley or the Range Rov-- oh wait. That's Kim Kardashian's battle, not my own. Phew!
Of course, these challenges will continue to exist.
But with the changing of the seasons, new obstacles begin to blow in with the cooler weather & the falling leaves. Such as:
a. sweater or vest today? Which will go better with my black knee-high boots?
b. what the hell am I going to wear on Halloween? I haven't dressed up in a couple of years, and I may be a little bit rusty in the "costume" department. (Because I was such a professional in the past.)
c. When I take my free drink coupon to Starbucks, do I get a Pumpkin Spice Latte or my standard fall drink: Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate?
d. family parties will be in fuller swing- do I bring my dad or do I skip that step? As he is somewhat "fragile" in the drinking department, and, on that side of the family-- a gathering without alcohol? well that extends a bit beyond their scope of enjoyment.
e. What the heck am I going to buy everyone for Christmas? And how close to Christmas can I keep this questioning burning in my head? (Can I beat last year's record of December 23rd?)
f. The weather is perfect! Do I exercise today? Or do I push it until the following Monday, as has been tradition since the day I started middle school and became body conscious?
I love you fall, you see. But, with the dropping temperatures and cozier Starbucks drinks, you also bring a newer, more specific set of hurdles that my short little body has to find its way over. :p
Love,
Sam
Happy Fall, y'all. Have a great Labor Day weekend!
I was totally under the impression that this week was the summer finale. Apparently it's not. And not next week either. But the following week! It feels like 2 bonus weeks of PLL. Can you say won the lottery?? :p
Dear Holly from Dance Moms,
While Christi is my favorite in the hilariously entertaining department, you are the one I most admire. You are seriously of the most level-headed, cool as a cucumber people I've ever witnessed. Especially in response to crazy loud Abby Lee. I've never been more envious of one's capabilities in the conflict resolution department. Not to mention your vocab makes me jealous. Yeah, I can kind of see the Michelle Obama resemblance... except you're prettier. And I'm sure if B.O. had you for a wife instead, he wouldn't be 6 kinds of awful as a president.
Dear work,
I hate you and the fact that you are claiming my entire Friday. That is all.
Dear Heidi from Save the Ta-Tas,
You were so helpful and were always willing to answer my 4589 stupid questions. Not to mention the fact that you were super patient with me while it took me forever and a day to come up with an article for you. Turns out, it's super difficult to write for something that isn't your own blog... Thanks for putting up!
Dear Blog Friends,
Hey... hope you're having a fabulous Friday! Be sure to head over to Adventures of Newlyweds to link up! Happy Friday, and have a great weekend!
First up, I'd like to thank everyone for all the incredibly kind comments, thoughts, & words you left on my post yesterday! They all made me feel better, and with every comment I read, my mood lifted a little higher! Thanks for not thinking I'm an ungrateful whore. ;) Love you!
As for today, it's Friday Letters time! I don't think I have partaken in this since my first or second blog (third time's the charm, baby!). But I saw like, 8 people on my reading list doing it, and I got a little inspired! Want to link up too? Head over here!
Dear Bloggy Friends,
See above. You are the best. Your kind words yesterday lifted my mood and made me feel a little less ungrateful. Especially knowing how many people feel similarly. If I haven't responded to your comments already, I'll be getting to them today! I responded to a handful, but I'm currently trying to get ready for work and blog and vacuum my room (why??) simultaneously. It's not working! Anywho, much love.
Dear Mommers,
Thanks for the pedicure the other day! My toes were in need, and it was super awesome of you to treat me! Love you! Hope you weren't too pissed that I "hit ya back" at the hair dressers the next day without you knowing.. oops! :)
Dear Neighbor,
Stop complaining about noise. Especially noise that doesn't exist. You claim my dog whines at night, but I sleep literally right above her, and anytime she whines, I get woken up (light sleeper here). The bags under my eyes during the first few months of Maddie-life can prove it. I haven't heard a single thing during the night since she was about five months old. If you were hearing it, I'd definitely be hearing it. You aren't going to convince me that you are hearing whining through closed windows, hundreds of feet away, that I'm not hearing twelve feet above her. So, please stop bugging my mom with complaints. Maybe get some ear plugs. Or a doctor. Because I think you are hearing things. :p
Dear Famski,
Haven't seen you all in forever! Can't wait for Sunday's pool party-- even if it's raining! I can't wait to see everyone, and for you all to meet Anthony. Should be a fun time.
Dear other famski, Sorrybutnotreally that I couldn't make it to the wedding. I know everyone says it's not true, but I'm still under the impression that an invitation wasn't extended my way. I swear I'm not just being a bitch, nor am I offended. If I was invited and I didn't know it, then I'm sorry. If I were six years old and the save the date/invitation were only addressed to parents, that would be different. It would be at the discretion of my parents unless the invite stated otherwise (i.e. "adults only" or only those named on the invitation, or something). But given that I'm 23, my brother 22 almost, and we live apart from my dad, not receiving an invite, means I'm not going to assume and invite myself. If I wasn't, I promise I don't care, I don't believe it was a malicious gesture at all. She is young, and probably doesn't have the money to be throwing away on every member of our huge family. Plus, I don't really know her, and I have a family thing on my mom's side that weekend, and the opportunities to see them are much slimmer. Not to mention that would be an additional weekend off work after taking a week off, and more traveling that I'm not sure I can afford at this point. Please understand. Dad and grandma are sitting it out too-- so I don't feel too bad. As long as her immediate family is there, that's what matters. I hope everyone has an amazing time, and I wish things were still the way they were when we were little. I miss the "big, crazy, fun" family. Sucks getting older!
Dear Coworker who shall remain nameless,
Can't wait to work with your crazy self tonight. I'm working a double, and I will surely need the entertainment value that accompanies your insanity! One request, just relax and don't have a fit every time a table comes in. Relax, we can handle it. There are four (erm, three) competent servers on, and two bartenders. I think we got this! Don't run around stressed because it stresses everyone else out. Try and be normal, for just one night. ;) No love.
Dear Customers of Thursday night,
Thanks for the surprisingly generous tips! It's weird how certain nights are just better and people are more generous. I doubt I often actually deserve the tips, haha. Also, thanks for being patient while your food took forever and a day due to our highly incompetent kitchen staff. Although I'm sure the complimentary desserts offered by the owner helped a little bit. ;)
You are adorable. And I love you, I really do. For some reason, you and your cuteness has lodged itself deep inside my heart, and thus I have this unconditional love that allows me to bypass the desire to send you back to Indiana when you shit all over my kitchen floor. Seriously. Like right now, when you haven't pooped all day, and I'm scared to let you out of the crate and roam the house out of fear you might drop something off, and you are sitting down there whining (or possibly attempting to sing along with MMM'Bop.. yes, broski is seriously listening to that). Right now I kind of want to hate you, but for whatever reason, I just can't. You are one lucky pup. I don't know many other puppies that have shat all over the floor for 3 months and haven't been delivered a nice "love tap" on the ass a time or two. Consider yourself lucky.
Dear Cyclists,
Do you have a death wish? Because I can't think of a single other reason why you would choose to ride your dinky little bikes on main roads, rather than the B I K E paths. You know, the road-like scenic path that goes literally for miles throughout Connecticut for your pesky hobby? The word "bike" is in the name. So I am left to assume that the only reason you choose to pretend you are a car and stop at traffic lights yet run stop signs (wtf?!) stems from a subconscious desire to injure yourself. Please, take a minute and consider yourselves lucky that I endanger myself and other drivers to swerve to the other side of the road to make sure you and your bikes don't get clipped. On the road. Meant for cars. Not. Bikes.
Dear Employees of Stop & Shop,
Please, stop. Whatever it is you are doing in the frozen food section. I couldn't get to my delicious SmartOnes frozen dinners because you had everything sitting in the middle of the aisle in grocery carts, no doubt melting. I even went back later in the day to try again, and the stuff was still there. I get cranky when I can't eat. Consider yourself lucky that I am an extreme food whore and thus will not forfeit my Stop & Shop patronage.
Dear Patriots Fans,
Dude, I get it. I am one. It sucks that the team lost, bust seriously, STFU already. As I said yesterday, the teams shake hands and make nice after the game. You are just fans. You aren't members of the team, they don't care how you feel, and they don't love you any more for devoting annoying FB status after annoying FB status to the fact that you apparently think Giants fans suck (eyeroll). You are just making the fan base look bad. So please, move on, there is always next season. Just be happy the Pats even got to the bowl. Winning shminning. It's getting there that matters. Consider yourself lucky I'm not braver on FB, because a certain someone would be getting an earful about how he pretends to be giant and macho but whines and cries when his team loses. Yes, I may or may not have made yesterday's FB status for one person. Yes, it's great if you win. It says a lot about the team and the people. But it's even better and says even more if you can lose graciously. Comprende?
Dear Starbucks,
I have no qualms with you. You, your coffee (blonde roast, holla!), and most importantly, your Caramel Brulee Latte keep me sane in times of premenstrual crisis. I consider myself lucky that you merely exist. Love you!
